You Aren't Losing Progress - You’re Just Tired Of Fighting The Wrong Way

Resetting and load management isn’t weakness but how you stay strong for the long haul.

Photo by Jordan Seott on Unsplash

Lately, I’ve been clashing with more than just my health. I’ve been battling my own expectations.

I’ve fallen into familiar traps:

• Beating myself up for running on fumes.

• Thinking a pause means I’m slipping backwards.

• Believing I should be further ahead by now.

• Catching up on day job work in evenings, pretending it’s temporary.

But here’s what I’ve realised:

• It’s not about doing more.

• It’s about responding differently.

This post is for you if you’ve ever felt stuck.

Not just with your to-do list, but in life, and where you thought you’d be by now.

You haven’t failed.

You’ve just outgrown the old ways of moving forward.

And that’s a good thing.

What I’ve been wrestling with

Do I push myself to get back to those long, focused 2024 hours building my business, or do I respect where my mental and physical energy are now?

Lately, the second is winning.

But the guilt? Ooof, it’s still got claws.

It creeps in, whispering:

• You’re slacking.

• You don’t want it enough.

• You’re not doing enough.

The usual rubbish we feed ourselves.

But here’s the thing - life has phases.

And the last few years?

They’ve been a relentless loop of pushing through, trying to catch up, believing that if I just worked smarter, harder, longer, I’d finally break through.

Last year I got seriously sick. First in summer, then again over winter.

And with ongoing health diagnoses, plus a day job that hasn’t let up, I’ve had to get ruthless about where my energy goes.

Have I done less than I planned?

Yes.

Am I tired and rethinking how to spend my time?

Absolutely.

But I haven’t lost progress.

I’ve just stopped fighting the wrong fight.

You haven’t lost progress but outgrown your old strategy

You’ve changed.

Your energy, your focus, your priorities aren't what they were 6 months ago, or 6 years ago.

But your strategy?

You might still be running old systems on new reality.

And that’s why you feel stuck or blocked.

Strength isn’t about clinging to what used to work, and autopiloting your way deeper into burnout.

It’s about knowing when to shift, when to reset, and when to build something that fits who you are now.

The patterns keeping you stuck aren’t random. They’re reaction

When we feel stuck, we often dive into productivity mode.

New tools, systems, trackers, apps.

If only I could get more organised...

But deep down, you already know how to get sh*t done.

You’ve done it. Many times.

It’s not always about effort, tools, or structure.

No, you’re fighting with old survival patterns that don’t serve you anymore.

Here’s where I’ve noticed mine showing up:

• Busy Bee: Keep going, don’t stop, or it all falls apart.

• Overthinker: If I just did everything better, I’d be successful.

• Procrastinator: If I can’t do it all now, I’ll wait.

• Comfort Seeker: I’ll do it after just three episodes. I deserve it.

These aren’t quirks.

They’re reactions to unprocessed losses, such as stability, worth, control, identity.

These patterns used to protect you.

Now, they just block you by bringing a false sense of comfort. The familiar.

The brain science of why this feels so hard

If I've learned anything in my 45+ years on this earth, it's you can’t outsmart your biology.

And we're not all built equal.

A 2024 study from the Karolinska Institutet found that even if you’ve developed a strong cognitive reserve i.e. years of experience, learning, and resilience, chronic stress still wears it down.

Let’s be honest - chronic stress isn’t occasional anymore. It’s baseline.

Your brain’s focus system, linked to the locus coeruleus (“the blue dot”) region and related circuits, isn’t built for endless grind.

When it burns out, you lose focus, flexibility, and your ability to adapt.

And resilience?

It’s not something you just have.

A 2024 Neuron review shows that resilience is active.

It's a process your brain builds through resetting and adapting, not forcing through.

Strength isn’t about constantly pushing harder.

It’s about managing your load smartly.

Knowing when to push, and when to hold back.

It's not because you’re weak, but because you’re protecting your edge.

Being self-aware and strategic with your energy, not just reactive with your effort.

Resetting isn’t failure but tactical

I’ve reset more times this year than I planned, and frankly it’s kept me going.

I’ve let go of things that felt good and motivating, but drained my system.

The truth is:

• Resets aren’t starting over.

They’re tactical adjustments that keep you in the long game.

Each time you recalibrate, whether through micro-recovery breaks, reflection, creative expression, you’re:

• Letting your brain offload and recover.

• Keeping your focus system from burnout.

• Strengthening your brain’s stress regulation circuits.

Resetting brings your system out of hypervigilance, so you don’t fry.

Your brain learns to manage stress better with the resources it has, but only if you give it the chance.

How I’m shifting my own adaptive stress circuits (art-based reflection)

Here’s something I've not shared much:

• I haven’t done my usual creative reflection practice since January.

I spent a year posting weekly art journals and reflections.

I even planned to turn it into a coaching tool, as an art-based journal for creative expression and action.

But with my health challenges, I needed to subtract.

Even from the things I loved.

Letting go of that practice?

Weird.

It grounded me.

It fuelled me.

But I let it go on purpose.

This let me experiment and discover if it was still valuable, or just another box to tick?

Turns out, the pause wasn’t failure.

It was space.

I started seeing where I’d been over-managing myself, expecting progress to look perfect.

Now? I feel ready to create again.

Not to prove anything, but to reconnect.

Art is how I tune into my energy, my pace, my patterns.

How I make sense of what I feel, and what to do with that insight.

That’s real resilience:

• Not performance, but presence.

Art-based prompt (if you’re tired of thinking it through):

• Grab a pen and scribble, sketch, or map what your fight, stuckness or loss of progress looks like right now.

Not to fix it but just to see it.

You might find a new emotion, meaning or more questions in the image to explore.

This week’s challenge: Test a new strategy

• What’s one thing you’re tired of fighting with?

• What’s one shift you could make, that works with your energy and not against it?

You don’t need to grind to prove strength.

You need to adjust to protect it, and build momentum for what really matters.

Key takeaways

Remember you haven’t lost progress but outgrown old ways of moving.

Burnout patterns and coping strategies are survival habits, not flaws.

And handily, they're rewired when you act with intention.

Chronic stress erodes not just physical strength, but mental and emotional strength too.

The latest neuroscience shows resilience is a biological process you can train, adapt, and build in real time.

Every time you reset, reflect, or stop fighting the wrong way, you’re strengthening the neural circuits that help you stay sharp, flexible, and focused under pressure.

Pauses aren’t failure but spaces to build curiosity. To test what really matters.

Ultimately, strength means working with your brain and body, not against them.

You don’t need to be born tough.

You need to build a brain that knows how to recover, so you can fight for the right things.

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P.S. If you’re tired of fighting with the wrong strategy, and ready to build something that works with your brain and life, book a free 25-minute discovery call. Let’s explore what smarter, sustainable progress looks like for you.