"Relationships are hard. But boundaries aren’t rejection, even though people might try to convince you they are. They’re about trying to find a way to have a relationship that doesn’t drain you completely or make you eternally resentful... You can love someone and still protect yourself, as these aren’t mutually exclusive. You can want some connection without constant dedication."
I have an immediate family member who set a boundary toward an extended family member. Another immediate family tried to mediate, but made things much, much worse. Your words can help all of us and give us a much better perspective on the real issues. Then they can be addressed.
As always, I appreciate you and enjoy and grow from your writing. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing Michael. We often don't realise why other people set boundaries within families. It might not make sense, but as you've said, it can make things worse trying to intervene. What helps me find peace with it is realising it might not be forever, but just for now. Relationships get into unhelpful habits, but space can help both sides breathe. I'm so glad this helps!
It's funny how different our stories are but how many similarities there are, too. I love how much comfort I can take from your stories. Today, I found myself writing about how I was grateful that COVID lockdowns meant I wasn't able to go back and take care of my mum or my grandma, and that if I had been able to, then I'd have probably sacrificed everything I'd built and gone back, indefinitely, and then resented everyone and become a very angry version of me, and then blown everything up when I felt too trapped and like I had no choice but to leave.
I'm glad that I didn't have to make that choice, and that, now, I know I'd handle it better if the situation arose again. None of this stuff is ever easy, but getting curious about it definitely helps take the edge off for me, at least. You're such a gifted storyteller. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so openly! I always love reading your words.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience Cassie. I've been sitting with this and how difficult it must be when the two life routes are so stark. But such deep insight to know how you probably would have responded back then versus how you might respond now. Time and curiosity helps and it's useful to reflect on those past episodes to realise how far we've come. Sending hugs my friend! xx
Sabrina, this is beautiful:
"Relationships are hard. But boundaries aren’t rejection, even though people might try to convince you they are. They’re about trying to find a way to have a relationship that doesn’t drain you completely or make you eternally resentful... You can love someone and still protect yourself, as these aren’t mutually exclusive. You can want some connection without constant dedication."
I have an immediate family member who set a boundary toward an extended family member. Another immediate family tried to mediate, but made things much, much worse. Your words can help all of us and give us a much better perspective on the real issues. Then they can be addressed.
As always, I appreciate you and enjoy and grow from your writing. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing Michael. We often don't realise why other people set boundaries within families. It might not make sense, but as you've said, it can make things worse trying to intervene. What helps me find peace with it is realising it might not be forever, but just for now. Relationships get into unhelpful habits, but space can help both sides breathe. I'm so glad this helps!
It's funny how different our stories are but how many similarities there are, too. I love how much comfort I can take from your stories. Today, I found myself writing about how I was grateful that COVID lockdowns meant I wasn't able to go back and take care of my mum or my grandma, and that if I had been able to, then I'd have probably sacrificed everything I'd built and gone back, indefinitely, and then resented everyone and become a very angry version of me, and then blown everything up when I felt too trapped and like I had no choice but to leave.
I'm glad that I didn't have to make that choice, and that, now, I know I'd handle it better if the situation arose again. None of this stuff is ever easy, but getting curious about it definitely helps take the edge off for me, at least. You're such a gifted storyteller. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so openly! I always love reading your words.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience Cassie. I've been sitting with this and how difficult it must be when the two life routes are so stark. But such deep insight to know how you probably would have responded back then versus how you might respond now. Time and curiosity helps and it's useful to reflect on those past episodes to realise how far we've come. Sending hugs my friend! xx
What a rollercoaster this life is, hey?!