How to Resist the Temptation of Burnout Before It Sucks You In

Get wise to your road to burnout or it'll trap you over and over again

Photo by Vladislav Muskalov on Unsplash

Burnout - feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, detached and losing belief in yourself - isn’t a one-time thing. For me, building my coaching business grew out of my habitual burnout experiences It wasn’t one event; burnout became a way of life.

Unfortunately, I’m far from alone. A 2021 Gallup Poll found 62% of small business owners feel stressed daily, and 44% experienced burnout at some point on their business journey. It hits close to home, and I bet the number is even higher for us side-hustlers.

For company leaders, the picture’s just as grim. A 2021 Deloitte study found that 70% of C-suite executives seriously consider leaving their roles due to burnout. The constant pressure and long hours make burnout a chronic issue among top leaders, fuelling high turnover rates and workplace instability.

The real-life outcomes of burnout on ourselves and others

If burnout feels rubbish, what’s the immediate impact? Burnt-out leaders experience a 30% drop in productivity and reduced creative problem-solving skills (Forbes, 2022). This lack of clarity trickles down to teams.

You struggle to make effective decisions, weighing options and conducting cost-benefit analyses becomes harder.

Your team may grow frustrated with your indecisiveness and lack of direction. Knowing you’re negatively impacting others adds guilt and shame to your burnout. Chronic health issues and strained relationships only pour gasoline on the fire, deepening the spiral.

So, why do we let ourselves get this unwell? I’ve asked this question while researching and coaching business owners and leaders through burnout. Writing and art journalling helped me understand my own patterns.

I initially resisted the 5 Stages of Burnout Model. It made sense in theory but real life is rarely linear. Yet, I’m revisiting it for its helpful framework, showing how easily we can get caught in burnout before we realise it.

Even if your experience doesn’t follow these stages exactly, possibly bouncing back and forth between them, use this model to assess where you are and what you need to pull yourself back.

Let’s explore the 5 Stages of Burnout Model and uncover how we get pulled into burnout without even realising:

1. The Honeymoon Hype: riding the wave

Ever started a new project or role and couldn’t get enough of it? You’re on fire, energy is buzzing, and you’re working like a well-oiled machine. You’re excited, productive, and thriving on the challenge - in the best way.

Maybe you’re part of a team. Everyone is bouncing off each other, pushing hard because you all believe in the goal, the process, and the fun of it.

Everything feels manageable, and energy is high.

I had this last summer in my day job - we worked long hours on a challenging project, but we were part of a gang on a mission. So exciting!

Hmmm…it didn’t last.

You might notice you’re stretching yourself and ignoring the early signs of doing too much, too soon. But who cares, right? You’re motivated and want to ride the wave of momentum.

Reflection Prompts:

• How long can this phase realistically last?

• Are you sacrificing hobbies, relationships, or other interests in the process?

• If so, what can you do to create balance before burnout sets in?

2. The Stress Surge: small cracks appear

Oof, things have been hectic longer than expected, and stress starts creeping in. Maybe your workload’s increased, or other stressors like interpersonal issues, mismatched values, or perfectionist tendencies are kicking in to feel in control.

Your once-enthusiastic approach feels strained.

In those quiet moments or personal time, you start noticing occasional anxiety, trouble focusing, or impatience with tasks and people. If only everyone did what you asked when you needed it, right?

It’s just a little longer, so you grit your teeth and push through. Stress is constant, but you tell yourself nothing worthwhile comes without effort.

You’re getting tired and grumpy more often, but it’s not all bad - there are still some highlights keeping you going.

Reflection Prompts:

• Notice unhelpful beliefs or patterns of behaviour creeping in.

• Check in with trusted friends or colleagues—what are they noticing?

• Incorporate stress management techniques like gentle exercise, deep breathing, or creative activities into your daily or weekly routine. Reconnect to your values and use them as a guide.

3. The Chronic Grind: stress takes over

Stress is no longer just a phase - it’s become your way of working and living. In rare moments of clarity, you wonder how you got here. But it’s uncomfortable, so you avoid thinking or feeling it. No time for that - I’m super busy, right?

Distraction becomes your go-to, zoning out and consuming more of what you don’t need to numb the discomfort (whether it’s food, drink, drugs, or endless scrolling).

You’re probably not sleeping well - tired but wired, taking ages to fall asleep, or waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety. Fatigue is your constant companion, and motivation is nowhere to be found.

Other people start to really get on your nerves. You’re irritable, overwhelmed by your to-do list and life admin. Every bug or virus seems to have it in for you, and your immune system and health are taking a hit.

Yup, that annoying perma-cold or lingering cough…

Even though you’re running on empty, this feels like your new normal. You push forward, but deep down, you know this isn’t the life you want. But what other options are there? Your mind feels overloaded, and you’re not sure where to turn next.

Reflection Prompts:

• What advice would you give a friend if they were in your shoes?

• Challenge any negative, self-critical thoughts or beliefs. They were quieter before, so they’re not your reality.

• Set up accountability structures to help manage boundaries and healthier habits, like booking appointments you can’t cancel or asking a trusted friend to keep you on track.

4. Burnout Breakdown: exhaustion and detachment takes hold

Burnout has you firmly in its clutches. You feel mentally, physically, and emotionally depleted. Perhaps you feel numb, or maybe you’re overly sensitive - small criticisms or judgments cut like a knife.

You find yourself tearing up in the bathroom or on calls, struggling to remember things like you used to. What’s going on?

The excitement and drive you once had have evaporated. You’re dragging your heavy heart and body from task to task, each feeling insurmountable. Maybe you feel disconnected or indifferent, questioning whether it even matters if you get them done. You feel invisible, as if you have no impact on others.

Your social life is limited, and hobbies feel like a distant memory. You’re too tired for any of that. Emotional exhaustion peaks, making relationships feel like hard work.

Procrastination and avoidance become your go-to strategies, adding pressure to your deadlines and to-dos. Everything takes longer and leaves you even more drained. You’re making mistakes and feel sh*t about it.

Common burnout patterns become ingrained, whether you identify as a busy bee, people-pleaser, comfort seeker, or marching soldier. (P.S. I’m currently writing an eBook on these burnout patterns and how to kickstart recovery - stay tuned!)

You’re doubting your abilities, confidence, and personal impact. As a result, your performance nosedives at work and in life - you used to be so productive and effective.

What happened? What went wrong? Those negative, self-critical thoughts feel more valid than ever, and sadness builds.

Reflection Prompts:

• Give yourself grace and self-compassion. Your motivation and enthusiasm may have led you astray, and you might not have recognised the unhelpful triggers along the way.

• Focus on your biology: sleep, diet, hydration, and movement. Make time to rest and reduce stress symptoms.

• A healthier body supports your brain in problem-solving, helping you define recovery solutions.

• Don’t hesitate to reach out to an expert or professional for targeted support and guidance.

5. Habitual Burnout: The deep burnout trap

Burnout has become a way of life - or zombiehood. You’re so used to feeling this way so people mistake it for your personality. It’s no longer a phase; it’s part of you. You’re trapped.

You’re dog-tired. Fatigue is constant, leaving you on the brink of passing out. Your sleep quality is terrible, and you never feel refreshed.

Your memory is foggy, and you feel detached from the things you once loved - family, work, values, achievements, and hobbies.

Recovery feels distant, and you’re unsure how to break the cycle. Is there a way back from this? Hopelessness dominates, making you cynical about life and work. You start to think everyone else has it wrong.

You might wonder about a different path but convince yourself it’s not worth it - you don’t deserve to feel better. Sometimes you dream about the life you wanted, but it seems so far away. You wish someone would help you escape and guide you to recovery.

You worry you’re letting others down, but you have nothing left in the tank. This only deepens your loneliness and isolation. How did you get here?

Reflection Prompts:

• It’s time to seek professional guidance. You’re not meant to live like this; reach out to a coach or therapist experienced in burnout recovery.

• Remember when this wasn’t your way of life. Hold onto those moments and know you’re not alone.

• Talk to a trusted friend about how you feel. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Key takeaways

Burnout isn’t just a phase; it becomes a way of life if left unaddressed. This makes it pervasive and challenging.

We’ve explored five stages of burnout, from initial excitement to a state of feeling depleted and isolated. The buzz and reward from getting things done, connecting the dots, and staying motivated can suck you in.

Hard work and hustle feel good - until they don’t. Recognising the signs at each stage is crucial for recovery before unhelpful patterns become ingrained.

Alongside any upsides, notice the sacrifices and ensure they are temporary.

Each stage presents its own challenges and reflections. Awareness of your current stage helps identify when to seek support or change your approach.

Remember, you’re not alone on this journey, and it’s never too late to make a change. I’ve recovered from habitual burnout, so I know it’s possible.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Prioritise your wellbeing and connect it to belonging and what matters in life - not just for you, but for those around you.

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P.S. Whatever stage you’re at, join me next Friday to prioritise what matters, and explore creative healing for Q4. It’s my first free live Masterclass (it won't be recorded) so let’s make it a good one! 

Face It To Make It: Art-Based Action Board Masterclass - October 2024

Date: Friday October 11 2024

Time: 9pm BST / 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT / 3pm CDT / 7am (next day) AEDT (convert to local time)

Duration: 60 Minutes

Join Zoom Meeting: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84381762552?pwd=kQWPceui8kAGk3DXfXRuMrOjrPlBC7.1

I’ll share these details in our chat channel and email for all subscribers, but pop it into your diary now. See you there!